me so cool

Late night rant blogging, awesome. I guess this is what this blog has turned into. Whatev.

So, I've been in a bad mood lately. That might be stating the obvious. I'm not sure what it is. It might be this graduating thing really getting to me, but I totally bitched at people tonight in an unnecessary way, and now I feel bad. I don't like to do that and I try to consider myself an easy going person, but tonight I just had a short fuse. I worry I've been that way for a few days. I had two conversations go sour tonight alone. I'm obviously not stressing out about actual schoolwork, in fact I wish I would get into it a little bit more. I've been dragging a lot of ass in that department. There's more stupid shit, too. I keep wanting to have more commitments and get involved with things, and then when I actually take them on, I drag ass--much like with school. I'm not sure what the deal is up there in my brain but something is off. Not only is my motivation slacking but my general outlook and personality seem to be a bit off-kilter, too.

I'm almost starting to wonder if I should have done something else with my life to begin with. I mean, of course I had to go to college, but should I have had a different major? Should I have been doing things differently all along, extracurricular-ly and socially speaking? Did I care about boys too much? Did I care about partying too much? Did I fall into the trap that is the life as a dumb college chick?

Regardless, if I learned one thing from the Lion King, it's that you can't change the past. "You have to put the past behind you." That being said, my future is a disaster, and the present isn't doing so hot either. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but that's the mood I'm in right now. Let's hope for a more positive (and productive) post next time.

~L